Becoming a Vishwa Guru

Just as I was settling down to solve the crossword puzzle on what was turning out to be another routine, lazy Sunday morning, Jay called. When I picked up the phone, the excitement in his voice was palpable. “Guess what! I am just back from a very key workshop, and the one-line consensus by all delegates is that India’s time has come! We will be Vishwa Guru soon! We are fortunate to be living in these times!”

Now I must tell you something about Jay. Apart from being a dear friend, he is a genuine patriot and sincerely believes in the India story. His enthusiasm and optimism are infectious; his vast knowledge of India and profound love for the country are well-known. It is always time well-spent conversing with him. So, I dropped the paper and asked him, “When?”.

He sounded puzzled. “When what?”

Here, I must confess my focus on deadlines sometimes overshadows my focus on the subject. I guess it is a hangover from my IT industry days when life was a series of projects with deadlines. I followed up with an answer and a question.

“To become a Vishwa Guru, of course! And by the way, do we have a precise definition of Vishwa Guru?”

Jay sounded a little irritated. “You know enough Sanskrit and Hindi to know the meaning of Vishwa Guru,” he said in a slightly annoyed tone. “And who sets deadlines for such things? It is up to us as a nation to wake up and seize the opportunity! We can’t have our bosses setting deadlines for everything!”

I replied in a placating tone. “Sure. Our common understanding is that Vishwa Guru is someone or some country that teaches the entire universe. Like Universe Boss, err Universe Teacher.” I said, cursing myself for the Gayle gaffe. But we must decide what we will teach the universe, right?”

Jay sounded pleased. “Yes. You are spot on! But I have already done some homework on what to teach. Aren’t we the leaders in Yoga, Meditation, and Non-violence?

I realised that a fundamental shift in his thinking was needed. Preparing myself for a long call, I replied, “You are right. But the historical topics have been around for at least a few decades, if not centuries. The world knows India holds unofficial, if not official, patents in such topics. Shouldn’t we be teaching something new?” I asked in all earnestness.

Jay replied quickly and excitedly. “I have that covered, too! From a contemporary perspective, we can teach UPI, Direct Benefits Transfer, Frugal space programmes, Millets, Frugal administration of vaccines to billions, and so on. What do you think?” I could sense ‘Gotcha!’ in his tone.

Since there was some merit in these points, I didn’t want to deflate Jay’s enthusiasm. Yet, I had the task of setting him on the right course. I replied slowly, “You are right. Those are all valid points. But, as an ambitious nation wanting to become ‘developed’ very soon, do we want to confine ourselves to ‘frugal’ techniques alone? We already proved our frugality in IT services. Climbing up the value chain from that position has been an eternal struggle. Also, we can’t hope for frequent pandemics to prove our vaccine credentials! And many others had already been to space and the moon. Let us try to offer truly differentiated topics. These strengths must come from our people at the grassroots. Also, we must aim at the so-called developed countries or first world and not get stuck with our third-world compatriots or even poorer countries. What says you?”

“Do you have any suggestions?” While Jay sounded a little sceptical, I knew he trusted me and would lap up serious ideas. All I had to do was to table the ideas, and he would then own them and evangelise them as best as anyone could!

“For any teacher, especially one who aspires to teach the universe, the first step is to have a clearly defined curriculum or syllabus. Also, the syllabus must be unique to India and something that only average Indians can teach the rest of the world. So, let us list the topics where we are undisputed leaders and then analyse them. For starters, how about the following: Liberal Democracy, Sustainability, Reduction in fossil fuel burning, better waste management, the importance of family and friends to build a good society, promoting impactful ancient sciences that the West is not familiar with, equitable wealth distribution or putting money directly in people’s hands, Respecting our leaders and so on. I can go on like this, but we must shortlist a few topics,” I said, trying not to sound too smart.

Jay was impressed. “I didn’t know India is a master in so many topics that we can teach the world, especially the developed countries! I am ready with the notebook,” he said excitedly. He asked me to go into more detail on each topic.

So, the conversation went like this:

Me: Let's start by discussing how to build a vibrant and dynamic democracy. Who better to teach this topic than the most populous democracy in the world?

Jay (interrupting me): I know where you are going with this. We must teach the world about the usage of EVMs and fair and free elections.

Me (a little impatiently): EVMs are all about technology. What we must teach should be about people and their behaviour and how that makes us Gurus. Before I come to the point, let me ask you. Do you agree that people in any democracy should have the choice to elect their government? And the more choice, the more robust the democracy?

Jay: Who can dispute that?

Me: That's good. Does it also not mean that the more political parties we have—representing local, regional, and national interests—the more choice we have and the better for democracy?

Jay: Absolutely!

Me: And combine this vast landscape of political parties with frequent cross-party movement of leaders. What is that if not vibrancy and dynamism? Do the leaders and people of so-called Western democracies have so much choice? Are they not living in a world of monopolies, duopolies and triopolies? It is like just one or two giant companies straddling the corporate world. India is the antithesis of the same. We can have any number of parties, and our political leaders can switch parties any number of times for better opportunities to serve people. We must teach the rest of the world how this engine works and how it serves people. Be wary of cynics who might call this hypocrisy, opportunism, Aaya Ram-Gaya Ram, etc. But it is just a case of ignorance and sour grapes.

Jay (a little sheepishly): This is an eye-opener. I used to hate our politicians for party-hopping. I used to think it was shameless behaviour and unethical. I never realised that – in reality - our system offers a wide choice for them to serve people and is not restrictive in nature. It also helps build a robust career, like in the corporate world. This must be top of the list for us.

Me: I must give it to you for being a quick grasper. Moving on, take the case of fuel conservation. What do you think all those guys - who take shortcuts by driving their cars, motorbikes, and even heavy vehicles on the wrong side of the road and even highways – are doing? To the superficially inclined, they may appear to break traffic rules or behave uncivilised. However, the discerning know they substantially and positively impact the planet’s carbon footprint. Have you ever paused to think how much fuel each saves daily, reducing India’s energy bill and the burning of fossil fuels? All this with a negligible accident rate as a percentage of the population. The developed countries claim to adhere to traffic rules strictly! To what end? To consume more fuel? Sadly, no one bothered to study and calculate how much fuel Indians save annually on this account of ‘any side’ driving! Why was this never discussed in WEF Davos?

Jay: This is a revelation! I wish Niti Ayog, the UN, or someone would compute the savings and publish a report. I will speak with the right folks in Delhi.

Me: I know your reach! But I am not done with sustainability yet! Let us switch from roads to weddings and dining halls. Have you ever noticed how we in India use the same plate for multiple servings in buffet dinners/lunches? I am sure you would have also seen how we recycle gifts received for weddings and other occasions. Has anyone bothered to quantify how much water we save annually by reducing the number of plates to be cleaned? How much food and other materials do we save? Are we not qualified to teach these subjects as a Vishwa Guru? The West thinks it is uncivilised to hold dirty plates with half-eaten items and stand in the line again. I agree. Precisely for this reason, we jump the line for our second and third servings to avoid such a complaint. Don’t we? In the final analysis, what is superior? Conservation or just being civilised? And when it comes to gifts, have you noticed how much personal effort we put in to ensure that a gift doesn’t go back to its original giver? Isn’t this collective effort saving so many items from going to landfills each year?

Jay: This is astounding and a refreshing perspective, too! I never considered these issues from this perspective. We must include these items in the curriculum.

Me: One last word on waste management. The developed countries may be mocking us as barbaric for the way Indians relieve themselves in public places. The good and bad of this international pressure is – it reduced defecation a lot, but we are proudly holding on to our public urination practice. They must know it is not easy to cow down a nation of 140 crores! Leaving aside pressure, has anybody applied their mind to this phenomenon and tried to understand the underlying philosophy? How much cement, bricks and steel are we saving by not constructing toilets indiscriminately? And what about water that is being conserved? What a phenomenal waste of precious resources would that be? And all of it to manage human waste that is so perfectly bio-degradable and doesn’t threaten the environment? And look at the ease and convenience of these open-air/any-time/any-place toilets! Spray some DDT and pour sand, and the matter is settled. If the West doesn’t want it, so be it. But we can teach this model to many aspiring third-world countries.

Jay (with voice quivering): This is turning out to be an incredible class for me! I am blessed to be the first student of the Vishwa Guru program. What else do you have on the priority list?

Me: Next on my list is ‘Equitable and Direct Wealth Distribution to the Public.’

Jay: Sorry to cut you off here. I know where you are going with this. Our Direct Benefits Transfer (DBT) to people’s accounts is a role model for the rest of the world!

Me (A little impatiently): We all know that. There is something else unique to India that we don’t promote so much. It makes for a perfect curriculum as part of our Vishwa Guru campaign! And that is Cash and Cash-equivalent freebie distribution during elections. What better way for an economy to spur spending than putting cash in people’s hands? What was originally people’s money is being returned to them officially or unofficially every five years or sooner! This makes India a solid and sustainable economy that can withstand external pressures. Imagine doing this without knowing for sure that people would vote for the same party that gave the money. So, this is Nishkama Karma or selfless action. You give money. If you win, good for you! But if you don’t, don’t despair. You hope for the best next time. We are teaching philosophy as a by-product here. Do you get it?

I want to touch upon another key point about returning people’s money to them. Take the case of how we all pay minor to significant sums to government employees when we need some work to be done. The so-called civilised world may choose to call it – out of sheer ignorance – bribing and corruption. It is nothing but giving those underpaid employees what is due to them. In return, if they get our job done quickly, so be it. One should congratulate them for their performance and quick turnaround. Instead of comparing them to their well-paid peers in developed countries and criticising them, we must appreciate how beautifully this system of grassroots money transfer works. This is what we must teach to the world as a Vishwa Guru. Also, in our model, the employee gets paid only when s(he) does the job. So, this is a performance-linked incentive over and above the meagre salary they get. Contrast this with the fixed salary government employees get in other countries regardless of performance. Isn’t this worth emulating?

It saddens me when people blame the system as flawed and corrupt. Instead, they should study the model intensely, fine-tune it further, and then take it global!

Jay: This is a unique and enlightening perspective. I think we can make it a World Bank case study by knocking on the right doors!

Me: I knew I could always lean on you to evangelise good practices even though you are a trifle late in recognising them. Let us move to the next topic now.

Jay: This is turning out to be one of my best Sundays ever! Bring them on!

Me: The next one goes straight to elements of our Sanatana Dharma!

Jay: Wow! This will appeal to the current mood of the nation!

Me: More importantly, it will have a universal appeal and become crucial to our curriculum. Think of Astrology, Vaastu and Numerology. While the so-called rationalists may dismiss them as superstitions, did it ever occur to you how much impact they can have on the economy and people’s lives?

Jay: People’s lives, I know. But economy?

Me: Think of how many houses and commercial establishments get redesigned, renovated and rebuilt daily because of Vaastu! Is this activity not employing thousands of architects, engineers, masons, plumbers, electricians and labourers? Astrological predictions and corrective actions reduce stress among people and make them look to the future with hope! Isn’t this a cheaper alternative than employing thousands of psychiatrists? Can we even compare what an average Indian astrologer charges with a psychiatrist? Why do you think Indian marriages last so much longer? Because they are astrologically tied. Take numerology and the fondness for numbers that Indians have and how individual success is tied to numbers. This can be a money spinner if used correctly – like how the motor vehicle registration department uses it. And I hear Vaastu is already impacting house sales in the US. We must build on that. Eventually, new visa categories can be created by countries, allowing these experts to be brought in from India. Just imagine the cascading impact on their economies and the additional foreign exchange we can earn! I have a vision wherein remote astrology services will one day give a run for their money to IT services companies that provide offshore services.

Jay: Wonderful! You are rocking today. I am sure the world will lap up these ideas! What is the next one?

Me: Swatch Bharat, of course!

Jay (sounding a little hesitant): Great idea, but aren’t the developed countries already much cleaner, neater and more hygienic than ours? What can we teach them?

Me: You are missing the point. I am referring to Swatch Bharat, the campaign, the slogan and how we picked the brand ambassadors – including the Mahatma himself - and created nationwide awareness and energy. The actual execution and results don’t matter. They will follow in due course and perhaps never materialise. That is secondary. There are many more such national programmes that I can list, but Swatch Bharat is the flagship. Have you ever noticed how wonderfully it took politicians and celebrities to all nooks and corners of the country with brooms in hand, getting closer to the people and connecting with them so well? This is what a Vishwa Guru must teach the world. How we conceptualise campaigns, name them aptly, rope in the right ambassadors and create the energy. And connect with the masses. Actual results are mundane and immaterial. Show me one country with so many campaigns, schemes and programmes with lofty names! Is it all not building energy and momentum and keeping the administration and media busy?

Jay: That makes enormous sense. We'll include this in our list. I can’t wait to hear your next idea.

Me: It has been a long conversation. While I enjoyed every bit of my Sunday morning, I must now get going with other chores. I will wind up with one final point. This is about human resource management. Recognising the individual human being is the cornerstone of societal excellence. And how we must empower, encourage, and support individual innovation and out-of-the-box thinking rather than constrict them in societal norms.

Jay: Sounds profound! I can’t wait to hear the details!

Me: I will list some simple examples to clarify this concept. Indians routinely jump red signals at traffic lights. The cynics within and outside the country might see this as a traffic offence. But the truth is, Indians jump signals because they feel empowered to make a judgment call on the spot. Why stop when there is no real need and waste fuel and time? Especially at late night and early morning? After all, we are humans with brains, not machines! It's the same with overspeeding. One can argue it is risky. But what is life without risks? How does one get the daily thrill and energy? This is all part of nation-building.

Also, consider the guy who goes to the extreme left to make a right turn. Why is he doing it? He uses the road width optimally and feels on par with the others waiting at the turn rather than inferior and having to stay behind them. This promotes self-confidence and a sense of social equality. Lanes on roads divide people. We must teach the world how to be inclusive. Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam!

Consider the example of not forming lines in public places or jumping a line already formed. Again, this is a uniquely Indian concept we must teach the world as part of the Vishwa Guru curriculum. This is also about an individual not wanting to be bogged down by societal restrictions. While Western countries like the US talk about individual excellence and freedom, they are slaves to processes and rules. In the process, they end up stifling individual entrepreneur streak and creativity. I remember a book titled ‘First Break All Rules’ or something similar. They write it, and we practice it. The one reason why many Indians are reaching top positions in global companies is precisely because of this individual freedom to be creative and break silly rules.

Jay: Now I am getting it. I never understood why our folks are doing so well globally. It is unfair to criticise such a system. Instead, we must teach how the Indian way must be made the global way. And how about making jugaad a formal topic in all B-schools?

Me: Absolutely. Some wiser institutes/corporates have already been teaching the beauty of jugaad instead of archaic systems, but more needs to be done.

Also, consider how, in our country, an individual’s celebration becomes the community’s celebration, and the individual’s sorrow becomes the community’s sorrow. These blind followers of Western values might scoff at how our people block roads, set off loud firecrackers in the middle of the night and play loudspeakers when celebrating events. But the reality is they are extending their celebration to the entire community. This is a sign of an inclusive society. While most of the population understands, tolerates and appreciates the concept, I see a minority complaining to the police about noise pollution, roadblocks, etc. Such a minority view must be ignored. We must teach the world how India gives individuals such freedom to impact the communities around them. And how this promotes a spirit of togetherness and a large extended family.

Talking about family, we cannot ignore how we place family and friends above everything else. We think about others only when our family and friends are happy and their needs are fulfilled. This has particular relevance to situations where one is in a position of influence and can do a favour or two. How ridiculous it would be to help others before helping and favouring your family and friends? Even in an aircraft, we are asked to wear an oxygen mask before helping others. This core value is declining worldwide and must be revived and globalised as part of our Vishwa Guru campaign. Now, detractors in other countries might choose to call it nepotism, favouritism, corruption and so on, but that is just plain ignorance and lack of family values.

Trust is another essential quality when it comes to family and friends. Have you noticed how we trust our family members and friends to drive us even when they have had a drink or two? Or when they are overspeeding in a hurry to get us home quickly? Aren’t they doing us a favour? How ridiculous is it to see this through the lens of mundane traffic rules and laws? Occasionally, there could be an accident or two and loss of life. But that is God’s will.

Talking about God, our Vishwa Guru program must also teach the world how to become spiritual and build massive temples. Other religions can build churches, synagogues, and mosques if they so desire, but they must keep building. Only God is eternal. Everything else is transient. So, spending money on science museums, technology centres, playgrounds, public parks, etc., is a waste of public funds. But I will discuss this vital topic in more detail another day.

One last point I want to cover is how to respect our leaders who take such good care of us.

Jay: By celebrating their birthdays!

Me: Absolutely! And more importantly, by building as many statues as possible for them in as many places as possible. Has any other country built as many statues as India has done for its leaders? Again, anti-national forces – and, in some cases, courts – might be calling them obstructions and scars on the city landscape and so on. But they are a minority and must be ignored, and we must teach the world how to build all kinds of statues in all kinds of sizes.

I know I have digressed a lot, but I am glad we have covered a lot of ground. Can you summarise the points, create a presentation, and start working with the leadership to form a committee to discuss and take it forward?

Jay: Trust me to do it right away! I am now confident we can advance the date. Once the curriculum is ready, we can formally approach the UN, announce ourselves as Vishwa Guru, and start identifying the first batch of student countries. I am sure there will be a mad scramble, and we must be careful who we pick in the first batch. And you! You cannot just walk away after listing these topics. I will speak to the right folks and ensure you will head the committee and the university when it is fully formed. I hope I have your consent.

Me (modestly): I am at the nation’s disposal. Whatever my orders are, I will follow them. Now you enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Jay: Happy Weekend to you too!

The battle I lost (and happily so)

It all started with a simple act of mine. I just cleared a couple of pieces of straw from behind the AC compressor in the balcony very absent-mindedly, only to find them come back again – with a few more additions – after a couple of days. Dismissing any wild thoughts about ghosts, I quickly repeated the clearing act. Lo and behold, three days later, the density of the contraption – formed with straw and thin twigs – grew manifold and was very conspicuous by now. That’s when I realised the adversary – whoever that might be – is not just bold but also persevering. And not afraid to take me on whatever his/her purpose might be.

So, the next phase involved a bit of hiding and watching before any quick reaction. That’s when I had a glimpse of the actor – or should we say actors - behind this stubbornness. It turned out that two of them were acting as a team. My first reaction was, ‘How dare they!’, followed quickly by ‘Why this particular location?’ While the place certainly looked cosy, shielded from all sides – by the compressor, the rack, balcony roof, etc – it is by no means unique, nor is it going to remain very quiet when the AC is running. Yet, the predilection for this location was very obvious. I had no option but to join this battle of wits and explore my options.

I remembered the old adage that perseverance pays and – persevere, I did! Only to be met by even more formidable opposition and doubling down of the effort from the duo. A little embarrassed and feeling awkward, I confessed my mediocre escapade to Anu and requested her to assess the situation and suggest a way forward. She obliged immediately, inspected the structure that was coming up, and immediately – to my horror – joined the ranks of the opposition and chided me for taking them on in the first place. Taken aback, I told her if we allowed this to come up now, it would embolden the duo, and they would bring more of their ilk to occupy other nooks and corners of the house. After all, Hyderabad is a city of land grabbing and encroachments, and one should always be on guard and not give ‘room’.

But Anu was firm. She was very clear that if this duo and their extended family want to encroach, they are free to do so. We will attend to the matter only when other nasty and unhealthy creatures show up, and that’s when we can act tough. ’These little fellows are gentle and harmless and only spread joy’ was her argument. I knew she was true and had to sheepishly admit as much, but I was still curious how this project would evolve.

So, I let the in-progress structure remain and got into observer mode. And boy! What I saw over the next day or two was so fascinating. The two would meticulously bring piece by piece of the construction material, look if the coast is clear and then go inside and add the material to the already built structure. If they spotted me loitering around on the balcony, they would withdraw, wait afar, watching me closely – I think I made eye contact several times and noticed a quiet defiance - ready to resume once I withdrew. Sometimes, just to tease them, I pretended as if I was doing something on the balcony. From the corner of my eye, I could see them watching my moves closely from a distance, clasping the new material they brought from somewhere and making sure it didn’t slip out of their hands. The patient waiting and the balancing act was nothing short of an emotional blackmail. I would quickly come inside to see them resume after a minute or so. I started feeling if this game continued and if we got to know each other better, they would even continue in my presence. And we could get on first-name terms, perhaps. It is all a matter of familiarity and confidence building, isn’t it? And now they know they have a solid ally in the house who also happens to be the boss.

But I didn’t want to take any chances in befriending them directly and just restricted myself to being a secret observer. So here we are. The work is now progressing at a much rapid and uninterrupted pace. Anu and I can’t wait for the day when the structure is complete. And when we get to hear the noises made by the newborns, bringing into this world some more – much badly needed – house sparrows. And we both are so thrilled (will you believe me if I tell you my transformation is genuine and not forced?) that they chose our house for building this nest, and we are committed to making it a safe haven for them and their extended family folks if they choose to come as well.